Day 13- longing

Today has been difficult for me…I have been feeling displaced, disconnected.  Sometimes when I am walking in the city or sitting in class, I get this feeling like “Why am I here?”  Since Lent began I have been struggling with hearing God’s voice.  It has come through, but like in the desert.  I have wrestled with the idea of doing what I don’t want to do.  Every life involves some of that.  Doing what you don’t want to do.  We don’t want to wake up at 6am, we don’t want to sit through boring classes or do jobs at work that are frustrating and difficult.  I have not been at peace recently about the bigger things: I do not want to wait for God. I do not want to work hard now for the vague promise of what I might have in the future.

On days like these it is hard to be here. It is hard to think of what I have lost.

Lord, have mercy.  Abba father, draw me close to you.  Your words are all I need to hear

~ by albqrock on February 19, 2008.